Commitment and Self-Trust

This week I almost skipped my run.

I’ve been running weekly since February. Before that I hadn’t run consistently for months, but one run on a mild winter morning was enough to hook me back in. 

For me, running is very much a practice of clarity and release. I’m not currently training for anything, I don’t go as far as I once did, and I’m admittedly not fast. 

But that February run reminded me of the unique experience I get from running, and that it was one I’d been lacking. So I committed to myself that I would run every week.

This week, Monday morning was my one shot. Although I was in running clothes at summer camp drop off, the rest of the morning somehow got away from me (it was either the forgotten camp swimsuit errand or the urgent email, can’t remember). And then my to-do list was grilling me.

I had a moment where I thought about skipping my run in an effort to add more time back into my day. But I quickly caught myself. 

The thing is, honoring my commitment to running weekly has very little to do with the run itself. Three miles or not isn’t going to have a major impact one week out of the year. 

It is about my commitment to myself, and the self trust that grows when I honor my word. So I went for a run and opted for a shorter route. And guess what happened?

Nothing magical.

But I strengthened the metaphorical muscle of commitment, and gathered more clarity around the purpose of my personal practices. Knowing what’s important to me is a great start, but clearly stating why it matters leaves so much less room for confusion and indecision.

And then during seasons of less childcare, more travel, less rhythm and routine, I can still adapt. I’ll adjust the practice to fit my life, not my life to fit the practice.

I also won’t abandon myself. 

When you find yourself in a season of lower capacity, or fewer resources, ask yourself:

What is something I’m able to commit to?
And then commit to that.
And do it. 

I won’t promise anything magical.

Except for maybe the superpower of trusting yourself and honoring your word.